1 Year Home, Part 2: Changing Together

I have said it before, and I will say it again. The hardest part of traveling to China alone, was coming home alone. While I was in China finalizing our adoption of Laura, the trip itself was fun at times, exhausting at others, full of adventure, and life changing. While I was there, I felt the prayers of my family and friends at home. The Lord sustained me in times of fatigue and gave me a brave heart that was able to enjoy the sweet time with my newest daughter and fall in love with her country.

We came home to our family and I was so happy to see them all and be together again. But...something inside me had changed and I couldn't...nor did I want to...go back to the "before." It wasn't a flashy change or something that any stranger would notice. But, my husband noticed and called me "post China Amy", sometimes in a more endearing way than others. I struggled internally to integrate back into American society. Truth be told, I had no desire to be back in American society. If Robert had been on board, I would have sold everything and moved overseas to serve the orphans in some way...any way. It was difficult to process all these feelings alone. It was difficult to have this life changing event without my husband there with me.

When travel approval came for Howie, we were thrilled that it worked out so that we could go together this time. We had several people in our life willing and able to care for our children and several people in our life who kept telling us it was important for Robert to be there this time (and we agreed.) I packed and prepared with excitement. I couldn't wait to hold our son. I couldn't wait to get back to China. I couldn't wait for noodles. I couldn't wait to hug several guides who I loved and I couldn't wait to share everything I loved with the man I love. Part of me did worry he wouldn't love it...and then what? "Please don't ruin China." is what I said as we headed to the airport that dark morning in April.

Then, we traveled for a long time. We climbed the Great Wall and met families with shared desires to grow their families through the blessing of adoption.  We met our son on a day that Robert would later describe as "one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen". We visited the orphanage and saw the hundreds of beds.  We walked the streets of Zhengzhou and Guangzhou together and fell in love with China together. And then came home together, and had each other to process through all the change and feelings and aches.

Although Robert still is not on board with selling everything and moving overseas, we do share an ache for the children we left behind and a love for adoption. We flinch at the "easy button" that so many desire to push, and laugh at the all the interesting conversations our little family creates. We love our children with our whole hearts and know we have room for more. Room in our hearts, room in our home. Because adoption and China changed us forever. And we thank God for that. Our lives are blessed beyond measure by the six precious hearts the Lord has placed in our family. It is a pleasure and a privilege to be their parents.

One Year Home, Part 1: Howard Derek

It is hard to believe a whole year has passed since we met Howie for the first time. In many ways, it feels like yesterday that we stood waiting for him arrive, watching other families from our group be united with their children. But, since then, our family has packed up and moved to a new state and settled in to a new home and routine. The year has been busy and good for all of us.

In many ways, Howie's adoption and integration into our family has been a "best case scenario." When we adopted both he and Laura, we went into the adoptions hoping for all the best case scenarios but knowing full well, and trying to prepare for, less than best cases. Medically, Howie is a healthy boy. He was diagnosed in China with hydrocephalus and has a strange scar on the side of his head. (The neurologist here called it a "witch doctor scar.") We will never know what happened in his life before us, but we do know he does not have hydrocephalus. He has a larger than average head, but a healthy brain, and that is what really matters.

Howie adjusted quickly to our family and our home and is a delight to us. He is funny and brave. He is rough and tumble and "all boy". He loves to jump off of everything (which has resulted in more than one injury...all minor, thankfully!). He builds with blocks and legos. He loves trains and asks to dump out the tracks daily. He was afraid of water and swimming when he first got home, but he loves it now. He enjoys the beach and the pool. He loves to ride his tricycle and scooter outside and play in the dirt in the backyard. He is everything a four year old boy should be. He loves his siblings and plays well with all of them (most of the time!)

We talked as a family about what we will always remember about Howie's first year with us and here are our top five: (Most are comical because that is who Howie is!) :)

1. Howie used to yell at us in mandarin. He learned English very quickly (he was saying words and short phrases before we left China), but when he was angry, his words were still in mandarin. We tried to use Google Translate to figure out what he was saying, but I guess his language was a 3 year old's version of mandarin and that didn't compute, because we rarely could figure out what he was saying. Robert used to say "I think when we can understand him, he may be in trouble." He would also sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in mandarin in the car. I do wish we could have preserved that language for him in some way.

2. Jumping, jumping, jumping. Howie jumps off of stairs and curbs...any time a jump is possible, he prefers that to stepping every time. The day before his medical appointment in China, he jumped off of a little bridge at the hotel park and hit his head. We went to the medical appointment with an egg shaped knot on his forehead. He has had similar injuries throughout the year, but he still loves to jump!

3. He has the best little giggle and smile! He is one of those kids that smiles with his whole face and it is darling. And his sweet cheeks...I could kiss them all day.

4. Funniest/grossest story of the year: Shortly after we moved into our house in North Carolina, I was unpacking downstairs and the 3 year olds were playing in the girls' room upstairs. It got quiet. I got nervous and went upstairs. I walked into the bathroom and Howie was wet all over. His head was wet. His shirt was wet. His arms were dripping. Strangely, his feet and legs were dry. I looked around...the bath was dry...why was he wet? I asked him and he just stared at me. I asked Rachel and she paused before saying: "Howie stuck his head in the potty." Ummm....what???? "WHY???" was my response. "To save our toys." Rachel replied. Yep. They had flushed toys. Some were still floating. Some were stuck in the pipes. Some were stuck in the bend of the toilet. A plumber, new toilet, and long shower later, it is funny. It is really funny, actually. Pretty gross at the moment though. So...Howie is the kid that will stick his arms (and head) in the toilet in effort to save his sisters' dolls.

5. Howie fell in love with Paw Patrol as soon as we got home. He loves it. Christmas and his birthday were all about Paw Patrol and he currently has a fleet of Paw Patrol trucks in his room. It goes nicely with Jacob's garbage truck and firetruck fleets. They are a good pair.

It has been a lovely year with our Hao Hao! We are thankful we got the opportunity to be his family and thankful that we said yes to one more! It sounded crazy at the time...but it has been fun so far and we look forward to many more years of fun together. This crew keeps us smiling!