Lessons

As Laura healed over the past two weeks, our struggles were not only with her physical pain and discomfort but also with the instability in her heart and mind created by her pain. She has only been home 6 weeks, and as our sweet girl recovered from her surgery, we could see her pulling further and further away from us. She didn't trust us. Her trust fell away more and more as I had to care for her palate and her ears. The cleaning of the palate and the ear drops were torture for her. She was terrified. As the days went by, many orphanage behaviors returned and she pulled within her safe shell. She stopped wanting me to care for her and tried her best to care for herself. She shut down emotionally. Quit making eye contact. Shrieked any time she was out of control (even for things she used to love like baths.) Refused to drink anything except warm formula. And, even that, she would not allow me to feed her. The first 10 days left us both emotionally exhausted as I loved her through her sadness and grieved over her grief. 

It is amazing how many parenting lessons reflect our relationship with the Lord. As I prayed over our girl and wondered why she was so afraid and withdrawn, I was struck by how similar this reaction is to adults' reaction to God. What do I do when I am in pain? What do I do when I am out of control and hate everything that is happening to me? I grieve. I get angry. I become afraid. And I turn on the One who takes care of me. I decide that since God is not caring for me in the way I desire, I will care for myself and I will do it better than God.  Of course I have been in church long enough to never say any of those feelings out loud! But, if I am truthful, those are the feelings I have when pain and loss of control rule my life. And, as I pull away, He remains. He continues to care and is eager to have me return to Him. As I reflected on this, I was thankful for a God who is here. Teaching me as I care for my babies. Reflecting His truths into my life. Reminding me of His Words. Comforting me as I comfort them. 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too." -2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Now we are 14 days post op and are seeing Laura smile and laugh more and more. She plays and asks to be held. Her mouth looks good and the stitches have almost completely dissolved. Both emotionally and physically she is healing and we are so thankful and happy to have her back.